In this episode of the Modern Monk Podcast, I unpack one of the clearest realisations I’ve had in a long time:
Most of our suffering in relationships doesn’t come from others. It comes from where we’ve placed our source of love.
This is a voice note for anyone who’s ever felt rejected, overly attached, let down, or quietly resentful... because deep down, they were depending on someone else to make them feel whole.
I speak on the invisible contracts we create with people how validation, attention, even love, becomes a form of emotional slavery when we make it our only anchor.
This isn’t about becoming cold or distant.
It’s about learning to love without needing control.
It’s about remembering: real freedom is rooted within.
Lately, through meditation, journaling, and long silences… one phrase keeps echoing:
“Reduce daily, gain daily.”
That’s the path.
Not more approval. Not more affection. Not more fixing.
But less.
Less attachment.
Less chasing.
Less giving your power away.
This is one of my most honest reflections yet.
If you’ve been feeling ungrounded, stuck in emotional loops, or tangled in relationships … this one’s for you.
